One moment

We tend to take things and people for granted. I do anyway, sometimes. Though I try to remeber that I'm here only for a given time, it's difficult to remind myslef all the time about the fact that time has been working against me. We will all die. That's the fact of life. It's only a given time that we are here. That's why I think it's worth to look around and think about what is going on around us, where in life we are, what kind of relationships with people we have and change things we don't like. Especially when it comes to people: family and friends.

I have my issues with the family. Big issues which are to personal to be discussed here. I used to be angry at them, I used to hate them and tried to run away from them. I'm still angry at times, I must admit but not as intensly now. I guess when I've started understanding more about life things become less extreme - life isn't black and white only, and people are only people even if these people are parents and suppose to be perfect. But perfect they are not. And they are just people, sometimes lost, confused and struggling with life. Yes, they should be supportive and yes they should be there for us. And whatever I can say about my parents, no matter how angry I can be at tham I can say that they are trying to be supporive - sometimes in a way that I don't agree with but still.  I have this cofidence that regardless anything they are there for me. We've been through difficult times and beautiful days as well and we are the family. And it's not that I'm paiting a pretty picture here now being so many miles away from them... it's the fact that I love them and would do anything for my parents, brothers, a niece and nephews, and sisters-in-law. I hope they know how much I love them.

And friends. My friends from Poland and other places. I'm glad that I've met each of you. There are friendships which survived, there are those which didn't but I believe that I've met each and single person for the reason. I just want you to know that I think of you here in Asia and I miss you all loads. I wouldn't be here without your support. I hope that I won't fail you and I hope you'll be proud of me one day. I respect and admire so many of you for your strenght, stubborness, motivation, friendliness, openheartedness and many, many others. That was one particular day that it struck me: my birthday this year. We all sat at the table and I looked around and thought that it's a real treasure to have people like you around me. Thank you a lot.

I'm writing all this after the events in Phnom Penh. More than 300 people died: they were friends, they were members of families. More than 300 of the people who went to a concert never came back from it. How sad it is that in a moment you can loose everything. So lte's not take things and people for granted. Let's try to tell those who we care for that we care and love them. And not tomorrowbut now, today... because there isn't a guarantee that there'll be tomorrow.

 

Every moment is good to change everything

It's time to decide what's really is important in life. I want to believe that I'm in a point that such decisions should be made. Don't want to be a teenager forever and I think that to certain extand that's what's been happening for a while. I decided tame my teenager in me, not to say goodbye alltogether as I love this crazy girl but... she needs to abdicate and give a way to a woman - a clever, strong, self-aware woman who I am but tend to forget about it.

Every moment is good to change everything.
And I need this change.

I want to be a better person for myslef because I deserve good things. A long way ahead of me but I'm worth it. And this is a change itself that I can finally say: I deserve good things from other people and from myslef. I should be my best friend.

I've come down a long way. I'm ready for the new to come.