My Teaching

I have always thought that teaching children isn't really for me. At the same time I've always known that I won't get away without having this experience especially planning to stay in the teaching industry and pursuing a sort of academic career in the EFL field. If I want ever become a director of studies or techer trainer I need to have at least some experience with the little ones.
So the opportunity came along and three months ago I've started working with Cambodian kindergarten students. Mr Long who employed me was kind enough to give me a week to observe more experienced teacher to minimalise the shock and give me some time to make a final decision. It's very common that people think they can teach children but once they are left in a classroom with thirty kids it turns out that things get out of hand and it's more complicated than it seems.
I had my doubts. First of all, I had no experience with children whatsoever. I don't have younger siblings, I am the youngest one. Yes, my brothers have children but having lived away I rarely had time to hang out with them and if I did it usually was for a limited time when they were on their best behavior. So that really doesn't count as an experience.  Secondly, I didn't know anything about children's developmnet, what to expect from them... what to demand and so on. Finally, deciding to tech children I had to get out from my comfort zone of instructing adults who I am quite good with. I was really apprehensive and basically couldn't sleep few nights before and after I'd started delivering my own lessons.
After the first day, I was knackered. I was so tired as if I'd just run the marathon and that was only four hours of teaching. Or trying to teach, I should say because first weeks were to survive really.
 I was tired and still not sure if I could do it but decided not to give up regardless the snot, tears and noise.
I'd say that it took us a good month to get to know each other. It took me forever to remember thirty strange sounding names, which I sometimes still confuse or forget, to my despair.
We aren't there yet though. I still have some problems with the discipline in the classroom but  I also know that there's only so much I can do with thirty-odd creepy-crawly who are not always in the mood to cooperate. On the top of that, the class is of mixed ages and abilities so my students range from three to five years old. Some of them are very independent and sharp, and some are not there yet and need lots of assistance and attention. Unfortunately there's only so much time I can give each of the students and I'm really trying not to miss any of them. Difficult.
I should add that I'm not an English teacher only. I teach maths and science as well. And basically what I'll teach them now, they will take with them to school, which the fact makes me even more apprehensive. I feel responsible for them. I would like them to finish kindergarten and go to school equipped with the whole spectrum of skills and information. I'm on the mission :-)

Because of these kids I've decided to stay in Cambodia longer. I had planned to go to Bangkok in May. I was offered a job in one of the schools in the Thai capital and tempting as it may be, I have decided to postpone it in time. It's taken me too long to get to know these kids and school, and it takes a long time for kids to get to know a teacher. So I can't leave just after three months. I'll stay with them until July then, which makes more sense.
After all Bangkok doesn't go anywhere and people there will have a place for me there in October. Yey!!! All pieces have come together.

At my 'old' school - Western International things are doing very well. We are trying to change things there so that the school becomes a player on the market again. The place had been neglected academically for a long time and with the new management we are trying to set up some standard so that students/parents will trust the place again. It's all happening now but we have first results - more enrollments, more satisfied clients so that's very good. I hope that soon we'll hire a new CELTA qualified teacher so that will make two of us. The CELTA course is not an ultimate recipe for good teaching but it certainly gives valuable knowledge and equips a new-qualified teacher with set of very useful tools. It's also sort of guarantee that such a new teacher has been taught how to give lessons in the communicative way, which I wan't to see more and more in our classes at Western. Khmer teachers often use more teacher-centered approach and are skeptical about letting students go and experimenting with the language, which I believe is the most effective way of teaching and learning the language. I do really hope that within the time and with support from me and Steve, my academic supervisor in Bangkok, we'll be able to get teachers to change their routines and teach English in a modern way.
It's really good, professionally. I'm learning new things every day. I feel that I'm developing and that I'm supported in this development by my managers and supervisors. They trust my common sense and experience, which is really nice and which is building up my teaching confidence.

Haapy Anniversary Ania!!!

It has been ten years almost to the date when I departured on the longest trip of my life - the adulthood trip. I turned 18 and with a bit of the help of a tricky cupid I packed my things and left my old life behind.
Not that it was a bad life, one could say. I was in a good school, I had friends around me. At that time of my life I  was lost and needed somebody to fall back on. Beware what you are asking for because you might get it. I was asking for setting me free. I felt empty and unhappy, and prayed every day to be in a different place. Be careful what you are pryaing for as your prayers might be listened.
It happened unexpectedly - just like true love should happen, or at least that's what we tend to believe in. Unexpected and true love, an arrow of a cupid speared my heart and suddenly everything was clear, the world simple and I knew that this one will be forever. At 18 I didn't know that forever is a long time and that forever doesn't necessarily has to happen. But this I was to learn much later.
It was late February when I packed up and left. I didn't even say goodbye to my school friends. I left. It wasn't a pleasant journey. The road was terrible, I remember. We got stucked somehere for hours as if something was trying to stop me but didn't manage. It was decided. I was gone. I was gone, I finally had my life, had my love, had everything I needed.
Few months later I was sitting on the curb in Grodzisk Mazowiecki thinking what should I do with my life. Everything was gone: my dreams, my love, my dignity, my trust and belief that it all was worth something. I was 18 and already divorced. Not really but the process of breaking up with R. wasn't pleasant at all: packing things from the place that was supposed to be my home... Lots of tears, words that should never been said, things that should never been done, things that I regret and I am ashamed of. Things that under normal circumstances I would never do, or at least that's what I'd like to think.
I was afraid. I was terrified. I couldn't understand what had gone wrong and how all these things had happened. I couldn't go back home, I couldn't return to my school. I had to start everything from the beginning and I didn't know how. I felt guilty, I felt ashamed and afraid that I won't survive.
Somehow, I have survived. And this is something I'd like to congratulate myself for today. I have survived the biggest storm in my life so far. What is more, today I'm in the place that I've chosen myself. Cambodia gives me an opportunity to distance myself from the past and look into the future. Today I'd like to say goodbye to all these traumatic memories. This chapter is finished, closed. It should have been closed many years ago. It's done and I feel it so well today. Goodbye bad memories.Welcome to new quality!

Happy Anniversary Ania!
I love you.

One moment

We tend to take things and people for granted. I do anyway, sometimes. Though I try to remeber that I'm here only for a given time, it's difficult to remind myslef all the time about the fact that time has been working against me. We will all die. That's the fact of life. It's only a given time that we are here. That's why I think it's worth to look around and think about what is going on around us, where in life we are, what kind of relationships with people we have and change things we don't like. Especially when it comes to people: family and friends.

I have my issues with the family. Big issues which are to personal to be discussed here. I used to be angry at them, I used to hate them and tried to run away from them. I'm still angry at times, I must admit but not as intensly now. I guess when I've started understanding more about life things become less extreme - life isn't black and white only, and people are only people even if these people are parents and suppose to be perfect. But perfect they are not. And they are just people, sometimes lost, confused and struggling with life. Yes, they should be supportive and yes they should be there for us. And whatever I can say about my parents, no matter how angry I can be at tham I can say that they are trying to be supporive - sometimes in a way that I don't agree with but still.  I have this cofidence that regardless anything they are there for me. We've been through difficult times and beautiful days as well and we are the family. And it's not that I'm paiting a pretty picture here now being so many miles away from them... it's the fact that I love them and would do anything for my parents, brothers, a niece and nephews, and sisters-in-law. I hope they know how much I love them.

And friends. My friends from Poland and other places. I'm glad that I've met each of you. There are friendships which survived, there are those which didn't but I believe that I've met each and single person for the reason. I just want you to know that I think of you here in Asia and I miss you all loads. I wouldn't be here without your support. I hope that I won't fail you and I hope you'll be proud of me one day. I respect and admire so many of you for your strenght, stubborness, motivation, friendliness, openheartedness and many, many others. That was one particular day that it struck me: my birthday this year. We all sat at the table and I looked around and thought that it's a real treasure to have people like you around me. Thank you a lot.

I'm writing all this after the events in Phnom Penh. More than 300 people died: they were friends, they were members of families. More than 300 of the people who went to a concert never came back from it. How sad it is that in a moment you can loose everything. So lte's not take things and people for granted. Let's try to tell those who we care for that we care and love them. And not tomorrowbut now, today... because there isn't a guarantee that there'll be tomorrow.

 

Every moment is good to change everything

It's time to decide what's really is important in life. I want to believe that I'm in a point that such decisions should be made. Don't want to be a teenager forever and I think that to certain extand that's what's been happening for a while. I decided tame my teenager in me, not to say goodbye alltogether as I love this crazy girl but... she needs to abdicate and give a way to a woman - a clever, strong, self-aware woman who I am but tend to forget about it.

Every moment is good to change everything.
And I need this change.

I want to be a better person for myslef because I deserve good things. A long way ahead of me but I'm worth it. And this is a change itself that I can finally say: I deserve good things from other people and from myslef. I should be my best friend.

I've come down a long way. I'm ready for the new to come.

Sharing is Carrying - ABC's and Rice Action

As won't set up my own NGO, it would be useless in opinion as there are so many here already, I've decided to spread the word among my Polish friends and ask them to donate some money for the NGO called ABC's and Rice working in Siem Reap.
I really believe that together we can collect a few dollars and give it to the people who will know how to make use of it. I truly count on my friends' generosity.

I will soon publish my bank account number so that anyone who is interested and trust me, can transfer cash to it. After money's been colllected, I'll give it to ABC's and write a full report on what the money has been used for.
Tell your friends and families!!!

Sharing is carrying.
Here few dollars make a massive difference.

JOIN ME!!!

Work, School... Bits and Pieces

I'm finally back to work. Or backish :-)

I'm working only two hours a day, which will change I hope in coming weeks. I guess I haven't made much of an effort in looking for more work. Gosh, I've been soooo unbeliveably lazy recently. So lazy that I've even neglacted my writing.

So true!!!

But a bit about schools in Cambodia

Cambodian educational system is very poor mostly due to lack of well-trained teachers. Intellectuals were killed by Pol Pot and so at the end of the war there was nobody who could train new staff. At the end of the war, as I was told, anybody who could read and write would teach other people the skills. Naturally, it's getting better and better these days but there's a long way ahead Cambodia. Well qualified teachers are in demand but...
Teachers are very badly paid (ha!!! that's new, hey?!)  I don't have exact figures but they earn something around 20 dollars a month (in a state school). They get so little that many teachers will charge students additionally for classes (I was recenlty told that in one of the schools students pay for they regular clesses around 500riel a day, $1=1000riel). The sum may be not big, but in a month it adds up to serious money and someof the poorest people really can't afford going to school. Although however, I've just read in LIFT, the additional to the Phom Penh Post, that this year high school graduates are best-prepared group of proscpect students in more than decade.

Universities are nests of bribery. It's a common knowledge that if you have money you don't really have to study. Buying a degree as easy as buying a motorbike. However, more and more people are becoming aware that a piece of paper is not everything and actually it should be backed by some practical skills. More and more knowlegable/reasonable people in Cambodia are trying to convice the youth that they actually should attend classes, that they should put some effort and make the most out of what they have the access to. It's well known here that Cambodian menpower loose by far the compoetiotion on the labour market with more skilled workers from Thailand or Vietnam. Lots of companies investing in Cambodia will outsource empoyees from these countries as often there are no well-qualified workers here. So, slackers beware as "Only highly qualified, multi-skilled and well-disciplined candidates will even warrant consideration from employers looking to fill high_level openings in business and organizationsfacing the need to meet international standards to remain comercially viable."

All this reminds me of what Poland is still going through when it comes to education.

Private univeristies are mashrooming.

There is some rudimentary ministerial control over them but once the school opens it produces masses of graduates with no skills whatsoever.
And everybody wants to be managers. Being a top executive here means that one is rich and doesn't have to do much. Rarely do students understand that such work needs particular knowlegde and years of experience.

I'm teaching for a profit-making school with headquaters in Phnom Phen. I taught there where I first came to Cambodia and it is a bit natural for me that I've returned. But actually I'm a bit disappointed with the fact that the institution hasn't much changed in last two years. The managemnet expects from the staff much but the thing is that everything here is ill-managed: mixed ability clesses to excess, the books are not well selected, students are not well placed. In one calss, I can have sometimes early high school and late university students, all at different levels. But the worst thing is that many students pay for courses just to get to another level without doing much. Of course not all the students. There are some smart cookies among them and to find them in priceless.

Anyway, I'm happy to be in a classroom again. I'm happy that I teach so few hours and I can, therefore, experimant with some of my new ideas. I teach for the kicks. I love it. I occasionally hate it too or rather I hate to admit sometimes that I haven't yet developed so many skills that teaching practice requires. This will come with time I believe.
I like my students a lot. They inspire me. Yes, the system is fucked up, true. Sometimes I'm annoyed with my learners that they quite don't get it that if they want to earn themselves better future, they should study. But I don't preach them, no. Who am I to do it? It's not my role. I will be happy if they learn anything. I'll be happy seeing them come to my clesses and not play truant. I'll be happy if some of them realize that people who come here care. I care even doing soooo as I am.

 A little about people here who care - more is coming soon

There are soooo, soooo many people who work for people here. It's just unbelieveable - people with open hearts, good-willed people who I'll write about soon.

This I recommend for the begining:

http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=122668709163

http://www.abc-rice.com/


PLEASE HAVE A LOOK AT WHAT THESE PEOPLE DO HERE!!!

In addition
 We are fooding a bit here. The rainy season. The river is very, very high. Has flooded the other side of the bridge. We're still quite ok here. But I've got a feeling I'll need one of these soon:

 Actually, I could start a new trend here in Siem Reap. :-)

Some Facts and Comments About Cambodia for a Good Start

It's been a week here and I feel that I should write something before I get so lazy as not to come anywhere close to the computer. Writing needs some discipline and these days... I'm not disciplined at all.

Anyway... I'm in Siem Reap, in the Siem Reap province in the Kingdom of Cambodia. I'll spend here a bit of time and I would like to give my readers some overview of what is going on in the country at the moment but also I would like to tell you more about the country's history. Yes, I believe that eveybody has heared about Angkor  Wat, Pol Pot and the Killing Fields but the country has much more to offer than this. I'll show you places to go in Siem Reap: restaurants, pubs, hotels, hostels. I'll write about expats who live here and their influence on the community both good and not so. I'll show you NGOs wroking here and helping Cambodians to build their country, country that was totally destroyed materially and intelectually . Cambodia will be my experiment in writing reports for you so that you know more and so I understand deeper what these people here are about.

Quick Overview

Cambodia faces the whole array of problems: poverty, lack of good education, corruption, lack of basic infastructure, violation of human rights, to name only few. With Laos, Cambodia remain one of the poorest countries in the region of South-East Asia. According to International Monetary Found (2009), Cambodia's GDP ammounts to 2,015 international dollars, putting it in the 145th place in the world (there are 181 countries on the list)."Between one third and one half of its 13 million people live in abject poverty on less than USD1 per day, and the number rise every year." (John Tully, A Short History of Cambodia, Silkworm Books, 2006, p. 229)
In the same book we read that almost 50% of the country's budget relies on foreign aid donations which, unfortunately, are so often embezelled and stole by greedy officials. It seems that everybody takes money here: policemen, high-school and university teachers, clerks, doctors - anyone who has any kind of power.

Prostitution and child prostitution are big, though the governement is trying to take some steps to prevent it. Two years ago I spoke to girls and asked why they did it, they'd smile and say that if not this, they'd rot somewhere in the countrysite. It's their job that allows them to support their impoverished families, their children and helps them to survive. It would be a mistake, however, to think that prostitution is driven only by the demand from Western men. Brothels are massively popular among local men who sometimes tend to treat women worse than their motorbikes.

I know that the picure I've just painted is not a pretty one. But it's just one side. Cambodia has it's bright side too: crazy music that so many Westeners hate as it'll wake up you at 5 am blasting from laudspeakers to announce a wedding or a funeral and continues to balst for a few consecutive days. Cambodia has its ghosts and believes, celebrations and offerings, festivals... and all these so oriental, so interesting and captivating. All these to be discovered. :-)