Till Next Time

Olivier left last night. He stayed with us for a month and what a stay it was!  It was just great. Difficult for me at the beginning but once I got everything out, things got much easier and relaxed. We had four weeks of carrying for Helena and he proved to be a great care taker. I knew it from the day I met him that Olivier will be a good father - I's seen  him interacting with children... So in these four weeks, Olovier helped me with everything: he changed her, he successfully fed her with a bottle few times, he walked her, he talked to her and he did everything he could to be present as much as possible. And he was. And I was as well. For those few weeks we were there only for out little Helena who now has two parents who love her very much and who made peace with each other. Good things are ahead of us. We will see Olivier again in December when he comes back. Till next time then.

The wounds are still there but I feel they're are going to start healing from now on. 

I'm very happy that things are going the way they are. 

I'm going back to work on Monday. That is a bit less of a happy news. I's hoped I would be able to get one more month but it surely is impossible and Sunday is my last day with Helena and I feel like it'll be a great emotional struggle for me. But I have no other option and I need to do what I need to do. Luckily, I work close to home and I will be able to come home and feed her or she will be coming to school for a boob. 

So that's that. 

What A Beautiful Day!!!

What a wonderful day it's been. My very good women friends got together to shower me and Helena with their love and their friendship. And a shower it was!!! I can't say how good it feels to know that all these people are in my life and they are there for me. Not just saying that they are - but they actually are present and willing to help and support me.

I can't ask for more. I can only say thank you.

So thank you my Friends!!! I can't wait for Helena to meet you all. I can't wait to tell Helena about how you've been helping me through this time. I can't wait to tell her about the world full of compassionate and loving people. I can't wait to tell her that the world is a beautiful place when one has friends around. I want to tell her that we are loved and this love comes in different forms, from different channels and sources. Yes, it is sad that her Dad is not with us and we will feel his absence but we cannot determine our happiness and well being on this only.  We have so much to live for and look forwards to!!! We have the whole world to explore!!! When I look at the picture below, I feel love! I feel so much love and so much goodness. I'm surrounded by Angels.

Today Friends from Thailand were with me but every day I get messages and words of love from my friends and Family from all over the world. The ones who are in Poland and in other corners of the world. I'm greatful for that. My heart if filled with hope and happiness, and I hope Helena can feel it and that she will be entering the world filled with this love and happiness. 

I hope my Mom sees that all from afar and is the happiest mom in the world seeing her daughter surrounded with so many good souls.