I've been waiting for this message for many years.
It came today and hit me like a speeding truck. I can't move. I barely can move.
I'm on the island. I'm surrounded by a beautiful warm sea.
I'm on the island. I'm surrounded by a darkness and the sea of sadness.
You are dead.
I will never see you again.
I will never hear your voice again.
I will never hear your lies again.
I will never call you again and be disappionted that you didn't answer.
I tried to call you last night. Were you dead then? Or were you looking the darkness in the eye when I was calling you?
I will never have a dad again.
I will have a broken heart for the rest of my life.
You have no idea how much I loved you. I loved you so much, Dad. I loved you so so so much.
I lovee your voice, your strong hairy hadns. I loved your scrambled eggs with bacon that I hoped you will make one day for me and Helena again.
I loved you so much...
I lost you.
We lost you because I also have brothers, sisters-in-law and nephews and nieces. We all loved you.
We all wanted you. We wanted you. You.
I will miss you so much.
I will pack my bags and come home to say good bye to you...
I hope your torment has finished and you are in peace.
I love you and always will.