Tomorrow we're going back to Bangkok. Our family hoilday is coming to an end. And what a trip it was!!!
Helena is a great company. This little girls lives water, swimming with her parents, playing with is in a bath and walking with us along tla beach. She was with us all the time and it's been such a great pleasure to look after her, play with her and show her new things.
Olivier is a great dad, I'm a great mom - we're making a good parenting team.
Yes, yes... things are not ideal byt thanks to an honest conversations we've had I'm feeling better. So we spoke, we listened to each other and each of us heard what pains and aches the other one is struggling with. I'm struggling more in this relationship. Nonetheless, it's been good. It is good. We are here for Helenka, we are a good team, we like each other and I'm leaving things this way. Pushing never works. The oposite is a sign of respect.
Home bound tomorrow. I'm so happy I still have 12 days with my little one before I go back to work. 12 days of getting up when we want, 12 days of kisses without any time limit, 12 days of relax, 12 days of training to the half marathon, 12 days of love, love and more love.
This is what's important. The rest of the world may as well disappear.
s but riding the wave. I should be going back to that post more often and not allow myself to be tormented by people and circumnsqtances.
Especially now when Helena is here and the energies should be saved for her. So no more. No more obsessing about Gaelle, no more snooping, no more, no more, no more. I want peace. Yes, I will not allow her anywhere close Helena for the time being. I'm not sure if that has ever been Olivier's intention to introduce us or Helena to Gaelle but in case such an idea has been around: I say no to it already loud and clear. No and no!!! I'm still hurt and angry and it will take time. Breath in and out.
No more negativity. Breath in and out.
I have the most beautiful girl in the world. Breath in and out.
And so life goes on. A lot of the things are happening in my head and only there - I'm creating false images from the scraps of information that I get from here and there and I probably should stop right now and get on with my own life. It'll be tricky living with Olivier but that will not last forever as well and one day I might look back and conclude that obsessing all about it and not enjoying the present moment was such a horrible waste of time. So, slowly, slowly... one day at a time.
On a more positive note, we are going to Phuket next week!!! The school finishes tomorrow and I will have all the time in the world to be with Helena. Oh, my little Helena!!! She is getting bigger and smarter each day. The day before yesterday I borrowed a picture book from the school library and showed it to Helenka. Oh, how she laughd. How she loved the pictures. And yesterday I did the monkey for her and she laughed even more. There is nothing better than seeing her eyes lit up with happiness and joy! My little monkey! My little Helenka.