2015

What a year it's been!

I started it off beautifully in the arms of a man who seemed to be madly in love with me and I was madly in love with him. In Paris, in the city of love our love affair took place. And then something happened and he decided to part ways. Fine with me but then few days later it turned out that the short yet very intense romance ended up with me getting pregnant. Out of this short time when we loved each other Helena was created and the rest is history...

Then there was a very dark time and I wrote about it here. It was a horrible beginning of my pregnancy - to be left alone, first baby... very sad. Till one day when I was so tired of crying and so sick of feeling horrible that I decided to stop. Following my decision, I went back to the gym, started looking after myself better by being my own best friend and companion. When I did that, the Universe put plenty of people on my path who helped me to make this time of waiting for Helena a very special one.

And so out of love of so many people and out of love of the Universe Helena was born. Out of my hard work and good energy I put into her, a beautiful little girl was born who I have fallen in love with instantly.

And then something quite significant happened: Oliver arrived to meet Helena and they fell in love with each other.

Yes, definitely it's been an eventful year. I wouldn't like to go through many of the lonely and sleepless nights of my pregnancy. I wouldn't like to sit again at the doctor's office considering an abortion but I would give a birth again and I would do the same exact thing again and again. Helena is a gift. Helena is... Helena is everything to me at the moment and I'm the happiest mom in the world. 

I'm happy and grateful that Olivier is with us and that he is such a great dad for Helena. My heart grows when I see these two together. Yes, yes - there are many other things going on in the background which are less pleasant, but when I isolate Helena and him from the emotional chaos and noise, I get a really nice picture of a dad and his daughter who love each other dearly. We both love her unconditionally and completely. We both are trying to be best parents we can and I think out little princess is quite happy with us: she has already laughed outloud few times when we played with her and she gives us a lot of beautiful smiles each day, hence I assume she feels content with us. And what more would I wish for? Yes, yes... my personal life but it will come together one day, I'm sure. Just slowly (sic!) and one thing at a time. 

So yes, 2015 is over. 

I'm sure 2016 will be equally if not more exciting.

Happy New Year, Everyone.