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24.08.2010

Blessing or a curse?

My travelling issue - I've never been able to stay in one place. Actually, that's my parents' falt, as it always is :-) They would send me on trips in Poland, later in Europe and now they actually shouldn't be surprised that I want more and more. I've got itchy feet and I can't do anything about it. The process is irreversable one it's started: the horizon never shrinks, it can only expand more and more. And sometimes, when waiting for a bus/train carrying a massive suitcase or enormous backpack, I'm wondering... Is travelling really a blessing or a curse?
I hear you saying - of course it's a blessing. Everybody wants to do it. Before I took off two years ago people would repeat the same things they're saying now: that they would love to go, that it was great that I'd decided to go, that I'm fulfilling my dreams. But I'm telling you!!! You can do it as well. Why not? Yes, you need money, as it's always one of the crucial argument against travelling - people will claim they don't have enough. You need to decide to leave everything for a while, take a risk, pack your backpack, go through a nightmare of waiting for it to happen but once it starts... it feels great. On the other hand. Will I ever settle down? Will I always feel this voice behing my head: go, it's waiting for you, go!!! Will I ever decide that it's been enough? When? Will I feel it? Or maybe I'll end up with my backpack, loads of memories and nothing that really matters in the material world?

 I'm a bit of a drama queen - I know that :-) I always feel a bit panicky before big decisions but... they have to be taken. My mom asked me the other day if I wasn't afraid of all these challenges ahead. I am. Of course I'm. I'd be very arrogant id I'd say I wasn't. However, I won't allow my fears to stop me. I wan't to believe that fears are just some king of projections imposed on us by ourselves and that it's never to late to start fighting with them. Of course, I have to be reasonable and not put myslef in too much risk but... risk is good. Risk makes your blood circulate faster and your brain process things quicker.

So is what I'm doing a blessing or a curse? All in all, I opt for the blessing.


World I'm ready for you :-)

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