Saturday Morning

I'm still counting my blessings and I'm determined to continue. 

After all this turmoil and distress I'm determined to relax, look around and practice every day gratefulness for all the things I have in my life.

1. I have great friends and people who love me and my Daughter. 

In the midst of this crisis I reached out to many people asking for spiritual, mental and financial help. In 99% cases I was heard out and helped, or offered help and I find it very healing since it proves that going out there and talking about needs in a powerful tool. This experience made me truly believe that I am NOT alone and when the goings get though, I have a network of people who are there for me. This is a blessing.

2. I have my own experiences to rely on.

In past few years I have changed my life quite significantly. It all started with my Mom's death when I realized that there is nothing more important in life than feeling wholesome and worthy. When I was in Canada I fell into a network of people who taught me how to cope with this huge loss and come out on the other side. After a year of conscious grieving, I was more centered and happier than at any time of my life. Surely, it wasn't the end of the process but the beginning. Then I came back to Thailand and my life kept changing. For better I think, though it not always felt like this. There are still things I have to work on and sometimes it feels exhausting. Like... at the end of this year I felt I was on top of the world. 2014 was the best year in my life in many ways and then... and then I got pregnant, Olivier walked away and it felt like the whole world that I had been carefully building was coming to an end. The world was shaking, I heard the apocalyptic trumpets singing. It was all quite scary. I had to pull everything I had lerant together and use all my resources to get through this. The apocalypse hasn't happened. It's just the beginning of a long walk but I'm feeling so much more optimistic about the future now thank I was few month ago. All this thanks to the previous hard times.

Whith more and more excitement I'm expecting this Little Girl to arrive. Meanwhile. I'm enjoying my solo Saturday morning with a book and music.