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04.09.2010

I'll think about it tomorrow

It was very emotional today. Saying goodbye to the important ones is not an easy thing. After the days of being nagged about my going away, I guess everybody came to the conclusion that there's no use in doing that and I was left alone. What's more, I got loads of help from my dad who would serve me as a driver and take me to places so that I didn't have to use public transport. I'm not a driver and going to places by bus would be pain in the ass. So that wes really nice of him. Plus, I got financially supported as well, whch was a great help. THX DAD!

I spent the whole day with the family, we didn't talk much about what was to come. And then I asked my mom what she would like to tell me before I left and it started. She started to cry and I realized that she's just afraid the way a mother is afraid about her child. In fact she doesn't want to stop me, she knows that it's beyond her capabilities to do so - she's just worried. Mothers are there to worry, that's the part of their job. Mothers are there to love them and admire them for their strenght and ability to let us fly away. I know that my mom doesn;t like the fact that I'm going away but... on the other hand I know that deep, deep inside her she is proud of me. She's happy when I'm happy even if happiness means totalyy different things for us. She'll be happy knowing that I'm safe and safe I will be, which I woved.
We've done it before. They waved me goodbye two years ago but the emotions weren't any less intense. So lots of hugging, kissing and before I've noticed I was in a car going to Warsaw. I'll be missing the a lot: my parents, brothers, nephews and a niece, sisters-in-law, all of them. I love them lots. We don't always agree but the truth is that I know thet whatever happens I have a place to come back, which the fact gives me strenght and makes me believe that everything will be ok. I know that I have a family and friends who are with me, I'm a part of this whole network of people who care for me and who I care for.
And so it's really started now.
I should be packing things and looking for my gym trousers which have miracously disappeared again. I shouold repack my packpack and throw away all unnecessary shit I've taken but I'm so tired today that i'll follow a Scarlet O'Hara advice and think about it tomorrow.I'm too tired and emotionally drained. So I'll think about it all tomorrow.

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