24 hours

When I left the airport last night, I though that my heart was about to explode.  I'm sure that it was the same feeling on the other side of the immigration. 

Then we came back home and I put Helena to sleep and told her before that we both love her even though from different places. I promised myself that I would do it every day. I know his love for this little girl is bigger than the world. 

After that I had no more tears to cry and dropped dead tired... 

And then I woke up to a message from him from Malaysia. 

And then fell asleep again to wake up next to smiling and ready for the day Helena. 

We walked into the living room where her dad lived for last three months and I swear that she looked around and looked for him. 

My hear sunk.

Then it was time to go to work and get busy with a daily routine. 

It's been 24 hours since he left. The flat is empty... I know why it's empty, though. I know that's it because of me and my inability to compromise my wishes and desires, and dreams about a family. A real one. Hmmm... I miss him. I will miss him. Not the last few days when we barely spoke but I will miss what we had before that... Now, more days like this ahead of me.