Exercise Keeps Me Sane

I've started again. I have never really stopped but I've few breaks since Helena was born and I wasn't quite regular. 

Last Thursday Helena woke up at 5:30 and didn't want to hear about going back to sleep so I thought that instead of being frustrated, I will put me sneakers and top on and do some exercise on a mat. I was testing Helena actually and her reaction and with delight, 20 min later when I'd finished, I registered that my daughter has nothing against playing by herself when I was jumping around. In fact, she watched me quite intrigued - she hadn't seen me like this before. And so since Thursday we've had a new routine: wake up, cuddles, kisses, breakfast,  20-minute exercise, cuddles, kisses, shower, cuddles, kisses and more kisses and work, and more exercise in the afternoon, then back home to Helena - back to my daughter who is just amazing - a little ray of light that shines more and more each day. I love her, I love her, I love her and I love that we can be together in peace and harmony with a mutual respect for our needs. It really seems that Helena understands that I need to have these few moments for myself in the morning and then in the afternoon to unwind. And gosh, I do need to unwind after the whole day at school. Whatever it is running, swimming or pilates - physical activity allows me to be in the moment and take my thoughts away from whatever worries I have and whatever bitter sentiments show up. And those I have a lot. So I exercise and try to stay sane and as positive as possible. The self-discipline is very helpful when going through downs... No matter what happens in the day and no matter how shitty thoughts appear - there are always those few moments when I stop, turn everything off and concentrate just on the movement of my body and not on the movement of my brain. It is a healthy way to get rid of stress and release some endorfines, and get rid of some of the baby fat. So, no matter what, I will keep it going. I have no excuse - I just have to organize my day properly and I find time for everything - a matter of motivation  and deciding what is important - exercise and healthy life-style is very high on the priority list.

The day is over. I'm going to cuddle this little human girl and off to sleep.