New Week

I kicked off the new week with morning exercise. Since last Thursday I managed to throw 15 min programme before I go to work. Helena sits in her chair, plays or watches me and I throw my legs around. That's prefect for me. She wakes up early anyway and if I can't sleep, I will exercise. Plus, she really doesn't mind and I need to move around otherwise I will go crazy. The hot season is coming, she is now recovered from pneumonia which means that in a month or so we will hit the pool and have some fun in water. Yay!!!

The big Song Kran holiday is coming, many days off but I'm not sure if we'll be able to go anywhere. I'm still not clear about my university and if it'll be possible for me to start in April or if I'm taking a course in October. Plus, I need to save. I need quite a reserve for when we need it - like for hospital bills. At some point I also would like to go to Europe and introduce Helena to my family and perhaps Olivier's and to d so we need money. So, more and more I'm considering changing my apartment into something smaller and cheaper. I love my place and I need space for myself but I also need savings and since I can't work extra downsizing might be an option. Just thinking.

I've been reading this really good book called "Mean Mothers" about how daughter's  relationship with  mother can either make or break her. How mother's past and model of attachment influences the way she parents her offspring. It's a very good book but also a very difficult one for me. I know already that my home wasn't healthy. There happened things that I should never have witnessed and be part of. I know that my parents shaped me and not always in a good way. I know that some of this not-goodness will potentially be passed on Helena. I feel responsible to stop this cycle of unhappiness and learn how to live in a different way - happy and fulfilling and not threatening to neither me or Helena. It's a huge challenge. Makes my head spin, actually.

So that's that. Helena is fast asleep and I have some time to plan my lessons for tomorrow. I will do that and finish my day.

The challenge for coming days - figure out how to get Helena's visa without losing a day at work. Something has to come up.