I sat down in the abortion clinic next to Olivier, the psychologist in front of us, next to her a fifth-year psychology student, an intern at the hospital. Would I mind if he stayed - no I wouldn't.
I can't really remember everything the psychologist said, I guess she took me over the medical procedure and asked if I felt sad about my decision. She said that it's perfectly ok to be sad and that it will go away. I wanted to punch her. I replied that in a perfect world I would not do it but as it's not a perfect world I'd have to.
That was the moment when I heard the voice in my head saying: "Make it a perfect moment then!", followed by: "You don't have to do anything that is against yourself." The voice stayed with me.
Though I still have million of doubts and I still have those questions unanswered, I want to believe that I am capable of making this pregnancy, delivery and life after as good as possible, good enough for the two of us.
The world and the situation doesn't have to be perfect - it's good when it's good.
Today I make a decision that my good enough, happy land is here and now.
Brak komentarzy:
Prześlij komentarz